edjo2's profile

I know that I am a 1/2 full glass person and can be obnoxiously a happy person (especially to a person who is 1/2 empty!). Think I was just born that way!! How has your day started and what is your mood? I hope that you are feeling the joy of life like I do. It doesn't mean that I don't have some down moods, or days---but, I'm just not the kind of personality to let it stay there! I need to take charge of myself and get out of the hole. I think that I have learned that through some survival needs from past shocks to my system/life. It works and keeps me coping and functioning. I just read an article on how to live to be 100 and one of the hints given was just that---Your mood affects your body and can help you live longer if it has positive energy!! Are you capable of a mood check?

I am a person who uses my eyes probably more than many people in evaluating my world. I have never liked the kind of sun glasses when you could not see people's eyes, masks on people etc. etc. I know that is the reason that I never liked Halloween even as a child. I have always felt that if I were to lose my sight, that I would have a tough time feeling safe. My eyes have always been so very important to me. Do you feel the same, or is another sense more important to you?

I used to work with a man who had flashbacks about his traumatic war years and often wondered what a flashback was. Was it just a memory? I had an occasion where I experienced a panic attack after one of my husband's terribly barbaric procedures during his pancreatic cancer. After listening to him screaming in pain during this terrible procedure, I had gone home to shower and throw a load of clothes in the wash. I've never had a panic attack before, but I started crying so hard and shaking so hard that I couldn't stop and couldn't breathe. All of the sudden a tornado siren went off and it snapped me out of it. Since then, I have had flashbacks of that time and other parts of the hospital stays. They can be brought on by a smell, a sight, being in a hospital, or sometimes just a fleeting thought in my mind. I can't even really tell you what it is---it's such a flash! Not really like a thought because it's like a flash through my mind. Have you ever experienced such a thing? It is a unique type of event and now I know more of what my colleague was talking about.

My Grandma who raised me died five years ago and my grandpa four years ago. Ever since their deaths I have spent one night that I did not dream of them dying or already dead. I can't take it anymore.
To top it off, I am always thinking about them and the days that led up to them dying. They were both 80 but I can't get over it. I can't even see an elderly person without bursting into tears. It really stinks. I want out of this. Ugh.